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Good Expectations

by Robert Sherwood

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1.
Like Dying 05:02
A wing of birds across the sky A window flying open… A ring of blood around the moon An empty house in winter… You can never say what you’re gonna do Who you’re gonna know What you’re gonna reap What you’re gonna sow- You just never know If it’s gonna be a good day And you’re always being born Even when it feels Like dying… The way the curtains catch the wind The way that sweetness follows… Your fathers kiss upon your mouth When flowers grew in winter… Maybe there’s a way you can say what you want to say Maybe next week, maybe today Opening your veins for your chance to be The chosen one… But you’re just gonna have to live- Even when it feels Like dying… My only wish is that I’d Spent less time missing things that Weren’t in my power to undertake My one request is that you Please keep my memory with the Songs that I wrote when I was alive…
2.
Help me now I’m falling fast These summer days they never last And I won’t make December on my own… Please forgive me if I’ve done you wrong I love you more than any song You’re all my best mistakes rolled up together… We could find A way to shame the sun to shine We could fly Due east into the light … This is how you get to heaven… Please indulge me if I do protest There is a glove that fits the best My heart will beat inside your breast forever… We could find A way to shame the sun to shine… This is how you get to heaven… And from the corner of your eye The first brave leaf of autumn flies Just let it warm your heart to know I love you We could find A way to shame the sun to shine… This is how you get to heaven…
3.
You And I 02:24
You and I could never be Simply for the taking That is why I’ll always love you You and I have never been Even close to breaking So I know I’ll always love you And I... Don’t want to live so long That I’d have to live without you My life is a dream about you… You and I will always be Something in the making That is why I’ll always love you
4.
I Could Cry 05:13
Well, I’m seasick Thrown about on the swells of your beautiful confusion I’ve been searching for a beacon in the night Could you be my Cape of Good Hope? Won’t you fall in Through the hole in my heart to the center of my sorrow? I believe that there is sunlight in this world- I believe somewhere it’s dawn… I could cry… I could cry… But it’s just another world ending It’s just another will bending It’s just another world ending… I keep wondering How’s a man born of light gonna make it in a dark world? I believe you are the center of the storm Please don’t tell me if I’m wrong… I could cry… I could cry… But it’s just another world ending It’s just another will bending It’s just another world ending… Sacred evening Fall around like a curtain, like the eye of heaven closing… Light a candle, curse the darkness anyway Sweet and blessed light of day… I could cry I could cry… But it’s just another world ending It’s just another will bending It’s just another heart breaking It’s just another tear falling… It’s just another world ending It’s just another tear falling It’s just another world ending…
5.
Take your coat from the hook by the doorway This old world, she won’t wait for you now And in time it will find it's own meaning But for now take your coat from the wall… I recall how you tore me to pieces That was small but I paid you in kind And I cried through that god damned December With the words that you said on my mind… And I’m praying for an easy winter The kind you have when you’re just 25… An easy winter Because I can’t stay inside… I will float like a mist on the water To a place where I’m kissed by the sun And your light will no longer suffuse me (and your light no longer shines upon me like an angry star) But for now, there’s the door- that’s the one… (but for now just turn this ship in to the sun) And I’m praying for an easy winter The kind you have when you’re just 25… And easy winter Because I can’t stay inside… That’s why I’m praying for an easy winter The kind you have when you’re just 25… And easy winter Because I can’t stay inside…
6.
Vultures were lawyers and judges corrupt Starlings were children who never grew up The martins and magpies were artists and thieves And the blackbirds were misers whom nobody grieves… Seagulls were sailors who fell to the deep Kingfishers those who would save them A corporate board is a murder of crows And the owls were the learned (as everyone knows) We all come back the way we were We all come back as birds… Meadowlark sang every day of her life Rook stole his fortune and murdered his wife You’ll be a heron and I’ll be a crane On the wing through the mist of a soft autumn rain… We all come back the way we were We all come back as birds…
7.
Mystery 04:39
You’ve got a piece of me Don’t you treat me bad now You’ve got my heart on a string Don’t you turn into the wind now One day when we’re older Gonna wish that we’d taken some time… Why not think it over Just for your own sake, if not for mine? Because you’re a mystery I guess that’s just the word that comes to me When I think of what you are to me You’re such a mystery… I’m so beyond that thing Where you put yourself in harm’s way My innocence is gone But that’s a price we both payed... It doesn’t take a very keen mind to understand We’ve gotta love while we have the chance… Woman, I’d have never asked you for the North Star I only wanted to know how far… Because you’re a mystery I guess that’s just the word that comes to me And when I think of what you are to me… You’re such a mystery Because you’re a mystery You’re like a secret that you keep from me And when I think of what you are to me You’re such a mystery…
8.
I think of all the promises I made to myself When I was young and under a mistaken impression The funny thing is that I think I might have kept them But oh, at what a cost to the people that I really, really loved Now I'm leaving California And I'm never coming back to California... Through all the miles you never think what's at the end of the road You feel like something that you buy but that you never really use It's not too late, I swear to God it's not too late- We'll sing and laugh and drink and fuck and fight And scream like banshees at the moon Because I'm leaving California And I'm never coming back to California... Gonna walk down the main street of my home town Never let me hear you say you told me so
9.
Madrid 03:20
Elizabeth With the little braid And the purple flowers woven in… Holding hands down Arenal In early June… Is this what it’s like to be in love? Summer scenes When you’re fifteen Oh well, they change your life Or maybe it’s just me… Everyone I know grew up and went away… But I still walk Cibeles in the rain… I always knew that you would break my heart I always knew that you would break my heart But I never thought That it would be forever… Elizabeth With the pretty eyes And the heartless smile She did this to me Kissing for the first time on Torregalindo Is this what it’s like to be in love? I always knew that you would break my heart I always knew that you would break my heart But I never thought That it would be forever…
10.
My love don't give me no sorrow Tears of only joy I wake up feeling like magic Lying in her soft employ But now and then the mask will Slip aside and then I I see my life for what it is... For what it is... My love is whiskey and peppermint Sweet and drunk and fine One summer dream scented hyacinth Drowning in a pool of white wine... But time and time again I I see the signs and then I I see my life for what it is... For what it is...
11.
I tried to tell you But somehow I just couldn’t utter the words… I tried to sell you But you just won’t get with that old bill of goods… You’re gonna make somebody happy someday- Someone with just a little more faith than me Oh, pretty baby- My heart must have skipped a beat… But if you ever need Somebody sweet And easy on the eyes For whatever you’ve in mind, my friend- We will have our Monday wedding And we’ll file for grounds on Tuesday afternoon And what a day we’ll have, we two… Do you remember The day that we met on that cold city street? All that November- The way that it felt when our lips used to meet… I never thought that I could feel that way I still remember it like yesterday… Oh, pretty baby- So sad when it goes away… But if you ever need Somebody sweet And easy on the eyes For whatever you’ve in mind, my friend- We will have our Monday wedding And we’ll file for grounds on Tuesday afternoon And what a day we’ll have, we two…
12.
Don’t be a fool Never let the other children see what you can do Don’t let your parents know Loneliness has its rewards… In the night… Don’t let them find You moving those things with your mind Just be that little boy Lost in a world of your own ‘Til the time comes… You’re gonna know… Who stays behind And the few that will go To that beautiful place With you at the top of the world… A night full of stars The messages come from afar Don’t let the neighbors know Don’t let them in the garage ‘Til the time comes… You’re gonna say Who gets to come And the rest who will stay In the cold, ruined earth But you’ll be on top of the world…
13.
Brattleboro April 6, 12:05 AM…. One last foot of snow to dress this winter up in spring… You can’t get much farther from the center of LA And that’s all right with me That’s all right with me today… Used to take the PCH right up through Newport Beach Now it’s south to Northfield Mass. from Winchester or Keene You can’t get much farther from the pier on Ocean Way And that’s all right with me That’s all right with me today… And it ain’t true that you’ve gotta be somebody And it ain’t true that you can’t just be Your Name Here for god’s sake Everybody’s got a story Everybody’s got a tale to tell… Brattleboro April 6, now it’s turned to rain A billion brittle diamonds as the headlights climb away Can’t believe it’s been 8 weeks Since that night on Cuesta Way But that’s all right with me That’s all right with me today That’s just fine with me this way…
14.
I met her in the summertime But I don’t know her name I’ve known her for a thousand years But I don’t know her name… She ain’t just another memory A child of wishful thinking Trying to create what never was… She ain’t just another memory A happy-ever-after Tearing me away Tearing me away… Take a good long walk Down Elizabeth Street And you’ll remember… I didn’t know what love was for I’ve never felt the same Now, yeah now I know a little more But I don’t know her name… If she’s just another memory Then why am I still haunted By a past that never was? Why does time become an enemy? A tide of broken wishes Washing me away… Take a good long walk Down Elizabeth Street And you’ll remember… You’ll remember…
15.
This Goodbye 03:45
This goodbye- Harder than the ones before Because it comes from my heart… This goodbye Just enough to make me cry Because it comes from my heart… Through all these years I’ve burned for you And now I’ve burned myself right out And it’s hard to say The words get in the way… Of this goodbye… Every day Waiting for the birds to sing For the rain to roll through … This goodbye Like a dream you wish away at night Like a stone in your shoe… And all these years I’ve burned for you You see, I’ve burned myself right out… And it’s hard to say The words get in the way… Of this goodbye… And ain’t there just a million stars tonight? Must I bid farewell to every distant light? And it’s hard to say The words get in the way… Of this goodbye…
16.
Standing on the dock with you Love was always ours to lose After all the times we said It wouldn’t happen… Loved the way you checked your look Mirror in your pocketbook As if only lipstick writes The perfect answer… But time could find you Knocking on your own front door Trying to meet the queen before You greet her courtiers… Trying to switch off that light Trying not to burn too bright And never draw undue attention It’s best to be your own invention… Said I’d never let you down Said we’d get a place in town With some art up on the walls And some direction… Never meant to sink so low But baby you were good to go When we lost the heart to fight Our predilections… Time could find you…
17.
Only Child 04:04
You say the river is wide Much too wide to swim over Yet you wade in the river Wade in the river Wade in the river... All the stars in the night Much too far for the reaching Yet you laugh in the starlight Laugh in the starlight Laugh in the starlight... The universe is an amusement park But your admission's still a million years away But don't you cry...don't you cry...don't you... Daddy's gonna take such good care of his only child Of his only child... How you toss through the night With your dreams of destruction But you build in the morning Build in the morning Build in the morning... You curse the darkness and you curse the light You light a candle and you burn yourself in fright But don't you cry...don't you cry...don't you... Daddy's gonna take such good care of his only child Of his only child...
18.
Bedroom Town 03:53
Newspapers blow across her driveway The neighbors greet them with a frown She made her big escape from Bedroom Town Dead letters from the other side Of some enchanted world And does it make a sound if there's no one to hear the knocking? Knocking on your door... I've got a xerox of a picture of a photograph Of you and someone else I've never seen But you must have loved him So much more than me... When the night falls down around in Bedroom Town We'll celebrate another year of almost living Oh, slam that pedal down And we could pull the sheets up over Bedroom Town Over Bedroom Town... Shabby postcards of a rust belt night And morning sickness dawn And does it make a sound if you die on the freeway With no one else around? I've gotta hand it to you You must have said goodbye to everyone but me So I guess this timeworn tryst ain't meant to be... When the night falls down around in Bedroom Town We'll celebrate another year of not quite dying... Oh, slam that pedal down And we could pull the sheets up over Bedroom Town Over Bedroom Town...
19.
We pushed against the tide But tides don’t yield so easy And then they don’t at all… We did all that we could But maybe love’s a question And we don’t have the answer… And sometimes it’s just too much to ask To find a little love and make it last And sometimes it’s just too hard to say goodbye… And speaking of questions, child- What am I gonna do without you? How am I gonna live alone? Who am I gonna be without you? Without your soft voice on the telephone… I wonder if you’ll feel Relieved to be without me Set free from my demands… We did all that we should But maybe love’s a candle And we can’t strike the match… And who’s going to be the first to say I don’t feel the same as yesterday And who’s going to be the first to shed a tear? And on that note, my dear- What am I gonna do without you? How am I gonna live alone? Who am I gonna be without you? God, I don’t want to be alone… What am I gonna do without you? How am I gonna live alone? Who am I gonna be without you? Without your soft voice on the telephone…
20.
There’s a light that shines For everyone one but you Everyone knows why But you… There’s a flower that blooms For everyone but you Everyone knows why But you… And you’re always missing something And you don’t know what it is And you’re always missing something And that’s beautiful It is. There’s a secret told To everyone but me Everybody knows the answer But me… And we’re always missing something And we don’t know what it is Yeah, we’re always missing something And that’s beautiful It is. Ain’t it beautiful? It’s beautiful It is.

about

In the late summer of 2007 I moved to a house on a Berkshire mountainside in the hilltowns of Western Massachusetts with a singular agenda: to put together a peerless grassroots recording studio and take the time it would take to create a definitive collection of my best songs. I wanted just for once to create recordings that I wouldn't hate within six months. It's a very effective tool for creative growth to sculpt and destroy and to never be satisfied with our art, but it's a game is for the young and driven, those for whom life stretches out as a vast and infinite prospect. I was 42 and no longer driven to be experienced by the world, I had had plenty of that and found it strangely flavorless. The world and I were quite happy at that point to see other people for a while.

I chose songs and discarded songs, I began recordings and abandoned nearly-finished recordings in which I had invested weeks, months, only to begin again to get them right. Dreamworks was not banging on my door, so to speak.

Years passed and life was lived. 1 year, two years, five years. Gigs and friends and tours and albums and projects and jobs and seasons came and went, came and went. The work continued. It wasn't good enough. It wasn't good enough. And then, on an October day in 2014, it was good enough. A double LP, a magnum opus, a definitive statement, my “White” Album, my “English Settlement”, my “London Calling”. My dog was in the ground in the field behind my home, my partner and lover for so many years taken from me by illness. “Good Expectations” was done, touched and enriched by the life lived around it, the great times and the great tragedies that visit us all if we're lucky to live long enough to rise to meet them. They are there, waiting. I mastered it and put it in my bottom drawer; this was not the world for it. I moved to a new place. Six years passed.

This hard, strange, embattled time seems the right time to let go of it. I'm letting it go for reasons you can intuit and reasons only I know. I finished it on this night six years ago. It seems that “Good” is the new “Great”. It's good enough. It's good enough now. It ain't half-bad, mum.

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released October 20, 2020

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Robert Sherwood Northampton, Massachusetts

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